Step back in time, if you will...

The power of music

We here at Beanies are very aware that there are many causes of homelessness.  Illness, disability, job loss, business failure, debt, to name the most obvious ones.  There is one cause, however which is always veiled in almost silence.  And yet it shouldn't be, because it is on the increase again, and because the safety net is being withdrawn strand by strand. 

The issue is Domestic Violence, or DV.  It happens to women, it happens to men, it happens to teenagers.  It happens in your town, it happens in your village, it happens in your street.  It might even be happening to your neighbour.  And yet it is hardly talked about.  Which is perhaps the reason that few people realise just how large the problem is.

If you are the victim, you often don't even realise.

"He's had a bad day" "He's been on the slosh" "She can't cope with the kids" "I shouldn't have provoked them" "Mum's new boyfriend…" You make the excuses.  You take the blame.  

And it happens again...

Step into my time machine if you will… We are going back.

Why? Because some things never change…

We are in a nice house, in an affluent neighbourhood.  Its 1975.  There's a posh new Ford Cortina in the drive, and the house is smart and clean. Dad has a good well paid job, buys the latest gadgets, drinks new fangled Carling draught lager on his way home from work, in the pub with his mates.  All is well with the world…

Its midnight and the little boy comes out from behind the sofa.  He's seen it tonight, his dad hurting his Mummy.  He can hear him punching her, he always will…

Dad's barged off to bed.  Mum's curled up against the wall.  He touches her, she flinches awake, and hugs him really close.  "it's alright baby, it's going to be alright…" and she starts to sing very softly as she rocks him…

https://youtu.be/9G2lqY3Nuk0

She had put up with it for years, always thought it was her fault, always made the excuses. always accepted the flowers and the apology.  Never told anyone.  She was so ashamed. It was her fault, she wasn't good enough.  She didn't do anything right…

But tonight, after her eldest had seen, she was going to do something right.

She packed in the morning, took her kids, and left.

Stayed round her mates that night, but had to move on quick.  He would come looking for them, he owned them….

Then the Council, then the flea infested dirty room…

Then slowly, the realisation that it wasn't her fault, and that she'd done the right thing. 

There is less and less support for the vulnerable these days.  Funding cuts, Refuges closing, or fearful that they will be next for the cut.  

What happens to the abused and their bewildered kids?

Homeless isn't invisible.

Homeless isn't a choice.

Homeless isn't worthless.

…With your love light shining, every cloud has a silver lining..

Make it so.

If this affects you you can find help on Twitter:-

@llamauUK (Wales)

@SODANationWide (All hours)

@RefugeCharity (M-F 9.30-5.30)

@IDASfor100 (North Yorks)

@genderfreeDV (Bristol)

amongst others.

Blog written by Sue